Laundry Day
by Noone the Virgin
Summary: True horrors lie within dirty laundry.


Today was Laundry Day on the Sunny Go, everyone was getting their clothes cleaned. Suds and sunshine filled the deck. Nami and Robin were doing their laundry separate from the men, but Brook, being the dirty old bag of bones he was, decided to pull a gag.

"Miss Robin, may I clean your panties?" Robin gave an off look and shoved him away. Sanji made a goofy face. "Robin's underwear are still fresh even when they're used~" He spun around. Robin gave a mean look. "Do you really want to see what they look like, Brook?" She asked.

"I'd love that!" He yelled. Sanji came running to his side. She dug a pair of green panties out her basket. Sanji's nose began to bleed. "Why do they wanna see Robin's dirty underwear?" Luffy asked, making a face.

"Ignore them, they're idiots." Suddenly, Sanji yelled loudly, Brook's mouth was watering. "Now, never ask of me such a thing again." She left. Sanji and Brook were crying. "What happened?" Luffy asked.

"The b-b-b-bottom of her-her….herrrrrrrr" Sanji collapsed, still mortified over what Robin showed him. "It's your own fault," Usopp said. "What happened?" Chopper asked, covered with suds all over his face. Nami came to them.

"For those who want to know about what happened just now, gather around." Everyone but Zoro, Franky and Usopp walked away. Only Luffy and Chopper stayed. "Okay, you two. There's a difference between girls and boys, or men and women. Women in particular go through a change when they get a certain age. During that time, there's a process in which we may have an…accident."

"You piss yourselves?" Luffy asked. "Well, in a sense. It's actually not urine, but it's more of a mucus-y type of thing." Sanji yelled in horror, writhing about. Chopper made a face. "So, women sneeze?" He asked.

"No, no." Nami took a pair of her dirty panties, pink. She showed them the bottom. They immediately cringed.

"NAMI, IF YOU WERE BLEEDING YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED CHOPPER!"

"I'LL TREAT YOU, NAMI! YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE IT ANYMORE!"

"SHUT UP!" She sighed. "Women go through a monthly phase, our…well, starfish tends to bleed and secrete mucus." Sanji was foaming at the mouth. "This is normal. Sometimes it's a little bit, other times, it overflows and this happens." Nami showed her period-stained panties again. Brook's neck snapped.

"My eyes can't handle such a thing…Ah, though I have no eyes to begin with." He laughed. Luffy looked at them. Then asked a question.

"How does it taste?" Everyone backed away from him.

Inside of the kitchen, Zoro's timbers shivered. "Something wrong?" Franky asked.

"Nothing…Nothing at all."

"I'm sure you tried to taste it once," Luffy asked. "Never, that's disgusting!" Nami yelled. Robin came downstairs. "I felt something that I shouldn't have," She said. "Is everything ok?"

"Robin, what does your woman mucus taste like?" Sanji kicked him. "Knock it off, you bastard!" He was still crying. Robin almost clutched him, but then grabbed his face.

"It depends on what you've eaten," She said. "Fruit makes it taste sweet." Sanji sprung up, hearing that. "Nami's…" His nose bled at the thought. "I wanna taste!" Luffy said with his tongue out. Robin put her hand on his mouth. "When we eat something heavy, like meat it has a strong taste." Luffy was drooling at the thought of Robin's meaty womanhood. Sanji shot away via nosebleed and landed right into the ocean.

"But it's not all good," Nami said. Chopper was looking confused. "That mucus tends to stick and harden, and it hurts when you take off your underwear and it's stuck to your hair!" Robin was wiping her hand on the grass. Brook had enough and decided to commit seppuku.

But he was already dead.

Zoro, Usopp and Franky were playing Gin Rummy. Usopp looked behind him. "I think they're almost…No, one more minute." He put down a queen.

Luffy, Chopper and Brook were looking unsettled. "Trust me, men may be open with their gross habits, but women keep it modest for a reason. Do you really want a cute little girl to suddenly let one out? As a matter of fact…"

"It smells terrible!"

"I'm gonna die! Though I'm already dead!"

"Nami farts better than me!"

"Oh, my."

The three Straw Hats listened for a minute. Zoro finished his bottle, and went for another. "Y'know, I was wondering who's tissues those were with the blood on them," Franky said.

Zoro put the bottle back in the fridge.


End file.
